Listen Principle

Stephen Covey quoted “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply”. People spend time to learn how to read and write, but they don’t spend time learning how to listen. John Maxwell affirmed that, “Most people overvalue talking and undervalue listening.” Edgar Watson Howe also said “ No man would listen to you talk if he didn’t know it was his turn next”.

People who always want to talk about themselves and their concerns in life seldom develop strong relationship with others. In the book How to win friends and influence people, Dale Carnegie quoted “ You can make more friend in two weeks by becoming a good listener than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you”. If you really want to have a good relationship with people, dont focus on what you will say but rather focus on what they want to say.

Number of business studies indicated that listening is one of the top skills needed for success in business. Whenever you listen, you increase your knowledge and the opportunity to get a million-dollar idea. The flow of new brilliant thoughts won’t stop even from critics.

This principle will teach us to value listening more than to spotlight our response. Remember, "a buddy loves a buddy who makes listening a priority".

By: James Ervis Isaac

90/10 Principle

A Principle by Stephen Covey which conceptualize two side of life situation. It stated that 10 percent of life is made up of what happens to us while 90 percent are decided by our reactions and decisions. The 10% are composed of life circumstances which we cannot control like unexpected traffic, terrible reaction from people, or delayed arrival of plane. The other 90% life situation is determined by our actions towards the uncontrolled 10 percent. For Example;

We cannot control people’s reaction, but we can control our action towards them.
We cannot control the weather, but we can control the atmosphere of our mind.
We cannot avoid bad experience, but we can turn them as learning experience.
We cannot avoid failure, but we can optimistically respond to it.

The way we view and react the 10% of what happens to us affects the total 90 % of our life. It’s a matter of how you react to the 10% percent. Don’t let the downbeat 10 percent affect your 90 percent. If you’re late in the office because your friend secretly stole your alarm clock, don’t turn yourself into an enemy mode. Respond in a positive way. Have a little smile/laugh so that the 90% of you and your whole day will not be affected.

By: James Ervis Isaac

Bob Principle

If Bob has problems with Bill, and Bob has problems with Fred, and Bob has problems with Sue, and Bob has problems with Jane, and Bob has problems with Sam, then Bob is usually the problem. Every problem starter is like a fire lighter. And each of us is like a person carrying two buckets. One is filled with water and the other with gasoline. When we see a problem fire being lit, we can choose to douse it with water and put it out, or we can throw gasoline on it and make it worse.

If you have someone who creates and spreads problems, respond with a positive comment, show your concern for the person being criticized, and encourage steps toward resolution. Not everyone will respond positively to your suggestions. But if you have a strong connection with a Bob or you are in a position of authority with him, then ask him to THINK before he speaks using this acronym:

T Is it true?
H Is it helpful?
I Is it inspiring?
N Is it necessary?
K Is it kind?

If he can answer yes to all of these questions, then it’s appropriate for him to proceed.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Patience Principle

The journey with others is slower than the journey alone. Here are the steps you can take to become a more patient person in relationships:

Prioritize patience as a virtue worthy of developing. Oft-quoted Arnold Glasgow stated, “You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it.” In the long run, you will find that patience with people is beneficial to you. But you may not see a return right away.

Understand that it takes time to build good relationships. Relationships of any depth take time. The more people involved in the relational circle, the longer it takes.

Practice the exchange principle. Each of us thinks our circumstances warrant special consideration — people should be extra patient with us. Instead, put yourself in the other person’s place and be extra patient with him or her.

Realize that people have and create problems. When you decide to develop a relationship with another person, it’s a package deal. You don’t get to take only the good stuff and reject the bad. Try to give others the same kind of grace you’d like to receive for your shortcomings.

Identify areas where people need patience with you. It’s a good idea for us to know what ours are.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Situation Principle

Never let the situation mean more than the relationship. It is more rewarding to resolve a situation than to dissolve a relationship. Any time a person puts the situation ahead of the relationship, it happens for one reason: loss of perspective. People are always more important than mere things. Our property, our position and our agenda are transitory. Whenever we experience a rough time in a relationship, we need to remind ourselves of why that relationshipis significant to us in the first place. Also, we must keep in mind that there is a big difference between a situation that occurs once and one that occurs again and again.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Approachability Principle

Being at ease with ourselves helps others be at ease with us. People miss many opportunities for connection and the chance to build deeper relationships because they do not make themselves approachable. Approachable people usually exhibit the following seven characteristics:

1. Personal warmth. Approachable people truly like people. To be approachable, you need to generate personal warmth toward the people you meet.

2. Appreciation for the differences in people. Approachable people appreciate people for who they are and what they have to offer.

3. Consistency of mood. Approachable people are evenkeeled and predictable. You know what you’ll get because they are basically the same every time you see them.

4. Sensitivity toward people’s feelings. Although approachable people are emotionally steady, they might not expect others to be that way. They tune in to the moods and feelings of others, and then adjust how they relate to them.

5. Understanding of human weaknesses and exposure of their own. Approachable people are honest about their abilities and shortcomings. They are willing to be told not what they want to hear but what they need to hear.

6. Ability to forgive easily and quickly ask for for-giveness. Approachable people quickly ask for forgiveness and easily grant it to others.
7. Authenticity. Approachable people are real. They engage with others on a genuine level, and don’t pretend to be someone they’re not. They don’t go out of their way to hide what they think and feel. They have no hidden agenda.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Foxhole Principle

We face many kinds of battles in life, and the “foxholes” we sometimes inhabit come in many shapes and sizes. These foxholes can include the home, a business, a sports team, a small group, a platoon or something else. When preparing for battle, dig a hole big enough for a friend. The foxhole is for you and a friend, not a friend alone. You can ask a friend to fight with you, but you should never send someone else to fight your battles. And you should be willing to fight for any friend whose help you would request. You might have many friends, but not all of them will be foxhole friends.

For that matter, you will not be that kind of an ally to everyone in your life either. Foxhole friendships are special. Even before the battle, simply knowing that someone believes in you and will fight for you is uplifting. People who climb down into the foxhole with you see things from your point of view and they express empathy for your situation. That makes them not only a great help, but also a great comfort.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

101 Percent Principle

Sometimes building relationships is an uphill battle, and connecting with another person can be particularly difficult. How do you connect with people when you seem to have nothing in common with them? Can you build relational bridges in such circumstances? And if so, can the relationships be healthy, long-lasting and productive?

When the connection is difficult, you must find the one thing the two of you can agree upon. You can do that with just about anybody. The problem is that many people naturally take the opposite approach; they look for differences. Why? Sometimes it’s due to natural competitiveness; people are often looking for an edge. Sometimes it’s to make themselves stand out and to find their own distinctiveness.

Other times, people focus on differences because they feel threatened by others. When connection is difficult, you must find the one thing the two of you can agree upon. The greater the differences, the more important it is to focus on what you agree on. Once you do, give it 101 percent of your effort.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Gardening Principle

All relationships need cultivation. You cannot neglect a relationship and expect it to grow. That’s not to say that all relationships are the same and need the same amount of attention. The nature and purpose of the relationship will determine the energy and time needed to cultivate it. You can start to cultivate a healthy, growing relationship by focusing on the following six things:

Commitment. Every long-lasting relationship suffers strains and setbacks. No two people agree on everything. Even the best friendships can expect to face conflict. The question is: What are you going to do when trouble comes?

Communication. A relationship begins with easy communication. It deepens with more difficult communication. And it is sustained with intentional communication.

Friendship. Critic Samuel Johnson remarked, “If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone; a man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair.” That goes for old friendships as well as new ones. We sometimes take for granted the people closest to us, and as a result, we neglect to try being good friends to them first.

Memories. Shared memories are a wonderful source of connection and bonding for people.

Growth. When you begin any friendship, it is filled with promise. But you have to find ways to keep it fresh and strong so that it continues to have potential and not just good memories.

Spoiling Each Other. Voltaire rote, “If the first law of friendship is that it has to be cultivated, the second law is to be indulgent when the first law has been neglected.” Let your friends and family members know how much you care as often as you can.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Celebration Principle

The true test of relationships is not only how loyal we are when friends fail, but how thrilled we are when they succeed. Everyone identifies with failure. The problem is that because people so readily identify with failure, they sometimes have a hard time connecting with success. And if they don’t identify with success, they may resent it. Frequently the very same qualities that prevent people from achieving success — emotional insecurity, a scarcity mind-set, petty jealousy and the like — prevent them from celebrating others’ successes. They constantly compare themselves to others and find themselves wanting.

How do you learn to celebrate with others instead of ignoring or undermining them? Realize it’s not a competition. You must be willing to look at things from other people’s point of view. When they achieve something that is important to them, celebrate with enthusiasm. Celebrate successes others don’t yet see. Sometimes people make great strides and aren’t even aware of it.

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Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

High Road Principle

We go to a higher level when we treat others better than they treat us. If you’re slinging mud, you’re losing ground. There are really only three roads we can travel when it comes to dealing with others.

1. We can take the low road where we treat others worse than they treat us. 2. We can take the middle road where we treat others the same as they treat us. 3. Or we can take the high road and treat others better than they treat us.

The low road damages relationships and alienates others from us. The middle road may not drive people away from us, but it won’t attract them to us either; it is reactive rather than proactive and allows others to set the agenda for our lives. The high road helps to create positive relationships and attracts others to us; it sets a positive agenda with others that even negative people find difficult to undermine.

High roaders understand that it’s not what happens to you but what happens in you that really matters. Newscaster David Brinkley observed, “A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” They commit to traveling the high road continually. Nearly anyone can be kind in the face of unkindness every once in a while: It’s more difficult to sustain a high road attitude all the time. High roaders recognize their own need for grace, and extend it to others. High roaders set higher standards for themselves than others would. They make excellence their goal. They care more than others think is wise. They risk more than others think is safe. They dream more than others think is practical. They expect more than others think is possible. And they work more than others think is necessary.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Boomerang Principle

When we help others, we help ourselves. Those who invest in others give and then receive. They believe that success comes from being helpful, caring and constructive. They desire to make everything and everyone they touch better, and they understand the best way to accomplish that is to give of themselves. To enrich the world and become someone who invests in others, you must:

Think “others first.” Good, healthy, growing relationships begin with the ability to put other people first. Begin every relationship by giving the other person respect even before he or she has had a chance to earn it.

Focus on the investment, not the return. Investors in people are like investors in the stock market. In the long haul, they will benefit, but they have little control over what that return will look like or how it will occur. But they can control what and how they invest.

Pick out a few people with great potential. When people prepare to make financial investments, the wise ones don’t put all their money into a single stock or fund. They diversify by investing in several areas. But good investors don’t spread themselves too thin. They know they can give only so much time and attention to each particular investment. Wise investors in people follow a similar pattern. Pick only as many people as you can handle with intensity, choose only people with great potential for growth, and choose only people whose need for growth matches your gifts and talents.

With their permission, begin the process. You cannot help someone who does not want your help. The stronger the relationships and the greater the trust, the higher the likelihood that the investment process will work.

Enjoy a return in due season. When people’s motives are pure and they genuinely desire to add value to others, they cannot help others without receiving some benefit. The return may be immediate, or it may take a long time, but it will occur. And when it does, the relationship begins to resonate with synergy.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Friendship Principle

Most people underestimate the power and importance of relationships in regard to business and career. They try to learn the most recent management fad, focus on product quality, or create programs and systems to improve productivity or increase repeat business. These things are helpful, but the real key is relationships. Never underestimate the power of friendship when it comes to doing business. As soon as you understand the way that relationships affect business, you begin to realize that all business relationships are not created equal. Here are the four levels of business relationships:

People Knowledge.Your understanding of people helps build your business. All the product knowledge in the world won’t help someone without people skills. Nor will technical expertise. Nor will the ability to build a brilliantly efficient organization. If individuals don’t possess people skills, they very quickly hit a ceiling in their effectiveness.

Service Skills. Barry J. Gibbons, author of This Indecision Is Final, writes, “Between 70 percent and 90 percent of decisions not to repeat a purchase of anything are not about product or price. They are about some dimension of the service relationship.” How you treat the people with whom you do business really matters, especially in a competitive market. Business Reputation. Writer Howard Hodgson said, “Whatever business you are in, you are in a business of relationships. That’s why your reputation is your greatest asset.”

Personal Friendship.Your friendship with others builds your business. The highest level of business relationships is reached when people like your business, but more important, they like you!

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Partnership Principle

Working together increases the odds of winning together. Try to build relationships with everyone, but forge partnerships with only a few. Those closest to you determine your level of success. Move from simply working with good, capable people to partnering with difference makers. Find capable people with the same passion and mission as yours who also need others to make a difference. This will lead to many rewarding relational partnerships and together you will do things that make a positive impact by helping others.

Every person possesses one of two mind-sets: scarcity or abundance. People with a scarcity mind-set believe that there’s only so much to go around so you have to scrape for everything you can and protect whatever you have at all costs. People with an abundance mind-set believe there’s always enough to go around.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Satisfaction Principle

In great relationships, the joy of being together is enough. A lasting relationship begins as a healthy relationship. The following four factors help to create the right climate for relationships where simply being together is enough:

● Shared memories create a bonded environment.
● Growing together creates a committed environment.
● Mutual respect creates a healthy environment of trust and servanthood.
● Unconditional love creates a safe environment.

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Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Bedrock Principle

In his book, On Becoming a Leader, Warren Bennis says, “Integrity is the basis of trust, which is not so much an ingredient of leadership as it is a product. It is the one quality that cannot be acquired, but must be earned. It is given by co-workers and followers, and without it, the leader can’t function.”

That can be said not only of leaders and followers, but also of all relationships. Developing trust is like constructing a building. It takes time, and it must be done one piece at a time. As in construction, it’s much quicker and easier to tear something down than it is to build it up. But if the foundation is strong, there is a good chance that what is built upon it will stand. If you desire to build your trustworthiness — and as a result, your relationships — remember:

Trust begins with yourself. If you are not honest with yourself, you will not be capable of honesty with others. Self-deception is the enemy of relationships.

Trust cannot be compartmentalized. Many people today try to compartmentalize their lives. They believe that they can cut corners or compromise their values in one area of life and it won’t affect another area. But character doesn’t work that way. And neither does trust.

Trust works like a bank account. Mike Abrashoff, author of It’s Your Ship, states, “Trust is like a bankaccount — you have got to keep making deposits if you want it to grow. On occasion, things will go wrong, and you will have to make a withdrawal. Meanwhile, it is sitting in the bank earning interest.”

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Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Confrontation Principle

Caring for people should precede confronting people. Conflict is like cancer: Early detection increases the possibility of a healthy outcome. While intellectually it’s simple to resolve conflict, emotionally it can be difficult. It requires honesty, humility and dedication to the relationship. Take these steps when confronting someone:

● Confront a person only if you care about that person. It is more productive to go into a confrontation keeping the other person’s interests in mind.
● Meet together as soon as possible. Putting off confrontation only causes the situation to fester.
● First seek understanding, not necessarily agreement. The person who gives an opinion before he or she understands is human, but the person who gives a judgment before he or she understands is a fool.
● Outline the issue. Be positive, describe your perceptions, state how this situation makes you feel, and explain why this is important to you.
● Encourage a response.
● Agree to an action plan that clearly identifies the issue and spells out concrete steps that will be taken. The action plan should include a commitment by both parties to put the issue to rest once resolved.

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Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

The Number 10 Principle

All people have potential. Everyone you meet can be a 10. Believing in people usually brings out the best in them. If people believe in themselves, they can reach their potential and become the individuals they were created to be. If you’ve been hurt or disappointed in the past, don’t let that negatively color your attitude in the future.

Philosopher and poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.”

If they are 5,6,7,8,9, etc, take them in higher 10. Treat people well and take the high road with them, even if they don't do the same for you. See people as they can be, not as they are, and you will be amazed by how they respond to you. Not only your relationship with them will improve, but you will also help them become who they were to be.

The Charisma Principle

People are interested in the person who is interested in them. According to Dale Carnegie, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Carnegie’s teachings in How to Win Friends and Influence People include:

● Become genuinely interested in other people. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
● Smile. If you want to draw others to you, light up your face with a smile.
● Remember names. A person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound to that person.
● Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
● Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. Treat others the way they want to be treated.
● Make the other person feel important. Become sincerely interested in others.

The Learning Principle

Each person we meet has the potential to teach us something. All of us can learn things in unlikely places and from unlikely people. But that’s only true if we have the right attitude. If you have a teachable attitude, you will be positioned well to learn from others. Then all you will need to do is to take the following five steps:

1. Make Learning Your Passion. Management expert Philip Crosby notes, “There is a theory of human behavior that says people subconsciously retard their own intellectual growth. They come to rely on cliches and habits. Once they reach the age of their own personal comfort with the world, they stop learning and their mind runs on idle for the rest of their days. They may progress organizationally, they may be ambitious and eager, and they may even work night and day. But they learn no more.” If you desire to keep growing, you cannot sit back in a comfort zone.

2. Value People. People don’t learn from people they don’t value.

3. Develop Relationships With Growth Potential. Find people who are especially likely to help you grow: experts in your field, creative thinkers who stretch you mentally, and achievers who inspire you to go to the next level.

4. Identify People’s Uniqueness and Strengths. Philosopher and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson remarked, “I have never met a man who was not my superior in some particular.” People grow best in their areas of strength — and can learn the most from another person’s area of strength. For that reason, you can’t be indiscriminate in choosing the people you seek out to teach you.

5. Ask Questions. Learning begins with listening. The best way to learn is to watch others and ask questions.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"