101 Percent Principle

Sometimes building relationships is an uphill battle, and connecting with another person can be particularly difficult. How do you connect with people when you seem to have nothing in common with them? Can you build relational bridges in such circumstances? And if so, can the relationships be healthy, long-lasting and productive?

When the connection is difficult, you must find the one thing the two of you can agree upon. You can do that with just about anybody. The problem is that many people naturally take the opposite approach; they look for differences. Why? Sometimes it’s due to natural competitiveness; people are often looking for an edge. Sometimes it’s to make themselves stand out and to find their own distinctiveness.

Other times, people focus on differences because they feel threatened by others. When connection is difficult, you must find the one thing the two of you can agree upon. The greater the differences, the more important it is to focus on what you agree on. Once you do, give it 101 percent of your effort.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"