Gardening Principle

All relationships need cultivation. You cannot neglect a relationship and expect it to grow. That’s not to say that all relationships are the same and need the same amount of attention. The nature and purpose of the relationship will determine the energy and time needed to cultivate it. You can start to cultivate a healthy, growing relationship by focusing on the following six things:

Commitment. Every long-lasting relationship suffers strains and setbacks. No two people agree on everything. Even the best friendships can expect to face conflict. The question is: What are you going to do when trouble comes?

Communication. A relationship begins with easy communication. It deepens with more difficult communication. And it is sustained with intentional communication.

Friendship. Critic Samuel Johnson remarked, “If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone; a man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair.” That goes for old friendships as well as new ones. We sometimes take for granted the people closest to us, and as a result, we neglect to try being good friends to them first.

Memories. Shared memories are a wonderful source of connection and bonding for people.

Growth. When you begin any friendship, it is filled with promise. But you have to find ways to keep it fresh and strong so that it continues to have potential and not just good memories.

Spoiling Each Other. Voltaire rote, “If the first law of friendship is that it has to be cultivated, the second law is to be indulgent when the first law has been neglected.” Let your friends and family members know how much you care as often as you can.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"