Listen Principle

Stephen Covey quoted “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply”. People spend time to learn how to read and write, but they don’t spend time learning how to listen. John Maxwell affirmed that, “Most people overvalue talking and undervalue listening.” Edgar Watson Howe also said “ No man would listen to you talk if he didn’t know it was his turn next”.

People who always want to talk about themselves and their concerns in life seldom develop strong relationship with others. In the book How to win friends and influence people, Dale Carnegie quoted “ You can make more friend in two weeks by becoming a good listener than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you”. If you really want to have a good relationship with people, dont focus on what you will say but rather focus on what they want to say.

Number of business studies indicated that listening is one of the top skills needed for success in business. Whenever you listen, you increase your knowledge and the opportunity to get a million-dollar idea. The flow of new brilliant thoughts won’t stop even from critics.

This principle will teach us to value listening more than to spotlight our response. Remember, "a buddy loves a buddy who makes listening a priority".

By: James Ervis Isaac

90/10 Principle

A Principle by Stephen Covey which conceptualize two side of life situation. It stated that 10 percent of life is made up of what happens to us while 90 percent are decided by our reactions and decisions. The 10% are composed of life circumstances which we cannot control like unexpected traffic, terrible reaction from people, or delayed arrival of plane. The other 90% life situation is determined by our actions towards the uncontrolled 10 percent. For Example;

We cannot control people’s reaction, but we can control our action towards them.
We cannot control the weather, but we can control the atmosphere of our mind.
We cannot avoid bad experience, but we can turn them as learning experience.
We cannot avoid failure, but we can optimistically respond to it.

The way we view and react the 10% of what happens to us affects the total 90 % of our life. It’s a matter of how you react to the 10% percent. Don’t let the downbeat 10 percent affect your 90 percent. If you’re late in the office because your friend secretly stole your alarm clock, don’t turn yourself into an enemy mode. Respond in a positive way. Have a little smile/laugh so that the 90% of you and your whole day will not be affected.

By: James Ervis Isaac

Pareto 80/20 Principle

Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto discovered 80/20 Principle in 1897. It was called by many names including the Pareto Principle, Pareto Law, 80/20 Rule, Principle of Least effort and Principle of Imbalance.

80/20 principle stated that 80% of results is generated by 20% of efforts. Whether in business, society, government, or personal this rule is a practical means to accomplish more with less effort by working on the top 20 percent to generate the 80 percent of result. For example:

Top 20 percent of job priorities produces the 80 percent of job result.
Top 20 percent of product brings 80 percent of the profit.
Top 20 percent members influence 80 percent of the group.
Top 20 percent of life decisions affect 80 percent of our lives.
Top 20 percent of book contains 80 percent of the content.

All we need to do is to identify and prioritize the top 20 percent to have an 80 percent upshot. Pareto Principle can assist you organize and manage your time, money, energy, and efforts to generate majority of outcome.

By: James Ervis Isaac

Bob Principle

If Bob has problems with Bill, and Bob has problems with Fred, and Bob has problems with Sue, and Bob has problems with Jane, and Bob has problems with Sam, then Bob is usually the problem. Every problem starter is like a fire lighter. And each of us is like a person carrying two buckets. One is filled with water and the other with gasoline. When we see a problem fire being lit, we can choose to douse it with water and put it out, or we can throw gasoline on it and make it worse.

If you have someone who creates and spreads problems, respond with a positive comment, show your concern for the person being criticized, and encourage steps toward resolution. Not everyone will respond positively to your suggestions. But if you have a strong connection with a Bob or you are in a position of authority with him, then ask him to THINK before he speaks using this acronym:

T Is it true?
H Is it helpful?
I Is it inspiring?
N Is it necessary?
K Is it kind?

If he can answer yes to all of these questions, then it’s appropriate for him to proceed.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Patience Principle

The journey with others is slower than the journey alone. Here are the steps you can take to become a more patient person in relationships:

Prioritize patience as a virtue worthy of developing. Oft-quoted Arnold Glasgow stated, “You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it.” In the long run, you will find that patience with people is beneficial to you. But you may not see a return right away.

Understand that it takes time to build good relationships. Relationships of any depth take time. The more people involved in the relational circle, the longer it takes.

Practice the exchange principle. Each of us thinks our circumstances warrant special consideration — people should be extra patient with us. Instead, put yourself in the other person’s place and be extra patient with him or her.

Realize that people have and create problems. When you decide to develop a relationship with another person, it’s a package deal. You don’t get to take only the good stuff and reject the bad. Try to give others the same kind of grace you’d like to receive for your shortcomings.

Identify areas where people need patience with you. It’s a good idea for us to know what ours are.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Situation Principle

Never let the situation mean more than the relationship. It is more rewarding to resolve a situation than to dissolve a relationship. Any time a person puts the situation ahead of the relationship, it happens for one reason: loss of perspective. People are always more important than mere things. Our property, our position and our agenda are transitory. Whenever we experience a rough time in a relationship, we need to remind ourselves of why that relationshipis significant to us in the first place. Also, we must keep in mind that there is a big difference between a situation that occurs once and one that occurs again and again.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Approachability Principle

Being at ease with ourselves helps others be at ease with us. People miss many opportunities for connection and the chance to build deeper relationships because they do not make themselves approachable. Approachable people usually exhibit the following seven characteristics:

1. Personal warmth. Approachable people truly like people. To be approachable, you need to generate personal warmth toward the people you meet.

2. Appreciation for the differences in people. Approachable people appreciate people for who they are and what they have to offer.

3. Consistency of mood. Approachable people are evenkeeled and predictable. You know what you’ll get because they are basically the same every time you see them.

4. Sensitivity toward people’s feelings. Although approachable people are emotionally steady, they might not expect others to be that way. They tune in to the moods and feelings of others, and then adjust how they relate to them.

5. Understanding of human weaknesses and exposure of their own. Approachable people are honest about their abilities and shortcomings. They are willing to be told not what they want to hear but what they need to hear.

6. Ability to forgive easily and quickly ask for for-giveness. Approachable people quickly ask for forgiveness and easily grant it to others.
7. Authenticity. Approachable people are real. They engage with others on a genuine level, and don’t pretend to be someone they’re not. They don’t go out of their way to hide what they think and feel. They have no hidden agenda.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Foxhole Principle

We face many kinds of battles in life, and the “foxholes” we sometimes inhabit come in many shapes and sizes. These foxholes can include the home, a business, a sports team, a small group, a platoon or something else. When preparing for battle, dig a hole big enough for a friend. The foxhole is for you and a friend, not a friend alone. You can ask a friend to fight with you, but you should never send someone else to fight your battles. And you should be willing to fight for any friend whose help you would request. You might have many friends, but not all of them will be foxhole friends.

For that matter, you will not be that kind of an ally to everyone in your life either. Foxhole friendships are special. Even before the battle, simply knowing that someone believes in you and will fight for you is uplifting. People who climb down into the foxhole with you see things from your point of view and they express empathy for your situation. That makes them not only a great help, but also a great comfort.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

101 Percent Principle

Sometimes building relationships is an uphill battle, and connecting with another person can be particularly difficult. How do you connect with people when you seem to have nothing in common with them? Can you build relational bridges in such circumstances? And if so, can the relationships be healthy, long-lasting and productive?

When the connection is difficult, you must find the one thing the two of you can agree upon. You can do that with just about anybody. The problem is that many people naturally take the opposite approach; they look for differences. Why? Sometimes it’s due to natural competitiveness; people are often looking for an edge. Sometimes it’s to make themselves stand out and to find their own distinctiveness.

Other times, people focus on differences because they feel threatened by others. When connection is difficult, you must find the one thing the two of you can agree upon. The greater the differences, the more important it is to focus on what you agree on. Once you do, give it 101 percent of your effort.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"

Gardening Principle

All relationships need cultivation. You cannot neglect a relationship and expect it to grow. That’s not to say that all relationships are the same and need the same amount of attention. The nature and purpose of the relationship will determine the energy and time needed to cultivate it. You can start to cultivate a healthy, growing relationship by focusing on the following six things:

Commitment. Every long-lasting relationship suffers strains and setbacks. No two people agree on everything. Even the best friendships can expect to face conflict. The question is: What are you going to do when trouble comes?

Communication. A relationship begins with easy communication. It deepens with more difficult communication. And it is sustained with intentional communication.

Friendship. Critic Samuel Johnson remarked, “If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone; a man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair.” That goes for old friendships as well as new ones. We sometimes take for granted the people closest to us, and as a result, we neglect to try being good friends to them first.

Memories. Shared memories are a wonderful source of connection and bonding for people.

Growth. When you begin any friendship, it is filled with promise. But you have to find ways to keep it fresh and strong so that it continues to have potential and not just good memories.

Spoiling Each Other. Voltaire rote, “If the first law of friendship is that it has to be cultivated, the second law is to be indulgent when the first law has been neglected.” Let your friends and family members know how much you care as often as you can.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"