The Exchange Principle

Instead of putting others in their place, we must put ourselves in their place. When we fail to see things from the perspective of others, we fail in our relationships. To become better at making the exchange, at seeing things from another person’s perspective, do the following:

Leave “your place” and visit “their place.” Do whatever you can to change your perspective. Listen to people’s concerns. Study their culture or profession. Read in their areas of interest. Or literally visit their place.

Acknowledge that the other person has a valid viewpoint. People’s belief systems and personal experiences are diverse and complex, and even if you do work to see things from another person’s point of view, there will still be differences of opinion. Working to find the legitimacy of another person’s point of view stretches your thinking.

Check your attitude. It is always easy to see both sides of an issue about which we are not particularly concerned. It is much harder when we have a vested interest in it. When that’s the case, we are often more concerned with getting our way than connecting with others.

Ask others what they would do in your situation. The key to the exchange principle is empathy. When you have empathy with others’ points of view, it becomes much easier to connect with them because they know that you care.

Soundview Executive Book Summaries John C. Maxwell "Winning with People"